Floatopia Will NOT Be Tolerated in South Beach!


FLOATOPIA WILL NOT BE TOLERATED!

KING PHILIP LEVINE SCREAMED

18 April 2016 C.E. 

By David Arthur Walters

Miami Beach

“Floatopia will NOT be tolerated!” screamed Philip “King” Levine on his Vanity Timeline @mayorphiliplevine aka @mayorego. “STOP!” yelled the King, and he screamed again, “NEVER AGAIN!”

Yelling and Screaming has been banned by the King because almost all Yelling and Screaming, like everything else that happens in the realm, is about HRM. Of course an Exception must be made for His Exceptional Self.

Thousands of commoners descended upon the Royal Beach from the poorest precincts of the Realm with floatation devices on the Sabbath. The flash mob snarled traffic and littered the Beach, and many carefree participants relieved themselves in the ocean. They brought their own food and beverage. Only one sale was made on the King’s Beach, an inflatable plastic inner tube, purchased at Walgreens.   

The main complaint was the traffic, for only the King is allowed to snarl traffic, with his Get It Done capital improvement programs in order to line the pockets of developers, contractors, and event promoters bearing Letters of Patent, to boost money laundering and tourism, and to ostensibly save the Realm from Global Warming and Sewage. 

His Majesty commanded his Chief Horseman, Jimmy Morales, Esquire, to announce a scheme to His Majesty’s Court to violate his subjects’ common law right to float in such a way that the new law would avoid the Appearance of Impropriety abhorred by The Kings Inn. 

That the King is above the Law as the Source of the Law is beyond the shadow of a doubt, wherefore the Court, which, according to Chamberlain Michael Grieco, a Barrister specializing in criminal cases, “almost always” approves Recommendations that His Majesty commands Sir Morales to make to the Court, will compose a Pragma, upon which shall be placed the Royal Seal, that there shalt NEVER AGAIN be a Floatation Day without a Floatation Tax of 2,822 Norman shillings (US$200) levied on each Floatation Device and duly remitted to the Royal Treasury. Only the floatation devices of Cuban refugees shall be exempt from the Floatation Tax. 

That absolutely legal device is expected to STOP Floatation Day because only the most loyal of subjects, few in number, will pay the Tax or go to Gaol, for he who pays the King shillings or takes his shillings is the King’s man.

XYX

 

The Wooden Government of Miami Beach

THE WOODEN GOVERNMENT OF MIAMI BEACH

 
BY
DAVID ARTHUR WALTERS
 

“The noise is too loud!” “What?” “THE NOISE IS TOO LOUD!” “WHAT?” THE NOISE IS TOO DAMN LOUD! IT’S DRIVING US CRAZY!” “OH, NOISE. NO, THE NOISE IS ACCEPTIBLE BECAUSE WE HAVE PERMITTED IT!”

Noise from the trenchless drilling of the Miami Beach redundant sewer in densely populated South Beach has nearly driven people anywhere near the engines crazy.

 

The main fault is laid upon the government and not the contractors, from which we have already received illuminating comments from John English of Horizontal Technologies, an industry spokesman and consulting subcontractor to general contractor David Mancini & Sons and drillers Spartan Directional, and Hard Rock Directional:

 

“You are starting to embarrass yourself now. I have read better stuff in middle school papers. Not even sure what the article is about. I doubt they are interested in my opinion that the article is poorly written. Continue your tantrum until someone notices. I saw a young girl doing the same in a grocery store this weekend, just as annoying…”

 

Mr. English, an avid fan of Ayn Rand who quotes Atlas Shrugged on his company’s website, has compared the protection of human beings from excessive and unnecessary noise in densely populated Miami Beach to unwarranted governmental protection of birds and snails in their natural environment.


Atlas Shrugged is a novel that rationalizes selfishness. Sales of the book soared after the Enron Scandal because businessmen felt they were being unfairly prosecuted for saving the nation.

 

Mr. English said that anyone who associates noise with civil rights is an “idiot.” Since that category would include hundreds of legislators throughout the country, they are being apprised of his opinion even though he does not think it would matter to them.

 

On the other hand, he said there was room for improvement in horizontal directional drilling. Even so, he said, benefits at present far outweigh its costs.

 

Human beings may listen to recordings of the noise taken before and after the city’s wooden attempt at noise reduction:


BEFORE THE WOODEN RESPONSE


Channel 10 edited the video tape to make it appear that the city had taken “reasonable” steps. The gentleman who made that statement was himself trying to be reasonable, and was disappointed in the editing, especially after hell-on-earth continued.


The longstanding unnecessary and excessive noise was actually permitted by the city against its own ordinance, on the excuse that the construction had to be performed on an emergency basis to save the city from an imminent disaster, of being flooded with sewage. There was no imminent danger of the old sewer main bursting, as can be seen by documents offered to the city commission. This was simply another rush-to-construction project performed in accord with the Mayor Philip Levine’s “Get It Done” mission. Mayor Levine is a wealthy developer and public relations mogul. His public relations program represents him as a sort of messiah come to save the city from global warming.



AFTER THE WOODEN RESPONSE


Decibel levels were decreased by the wooden response to the complaints, but levels were still unacceptable. Imaging that you had to listen to this racket every day of the week for weeks on end.


 



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A Girl Named John Appears on South Beach West Side

ALEMAN GRIECO 144379198476420151001_190914~31

A GIRL NAMED JOHN APPEARS ON SOUTH BEACH WEST SIDE

Watch out for a boy named Sue

1 October 2015

By David Arthur Walters PRESS INDEPENDENT

John Elizabeth Alemán, candidate for City Commission Group 6, appeared at a function for that occasion sponsored by the West Avenue Neighborhood Association at the swank Mondrian Hotel on West Avenue.

The gathering was small and intimate. Access to the event was hindered by longstanding road construction on West Avenue and Alton Road associated with repaving and installation of stormwater pumps and road raising that has cost many millions of dollars to businesses in the area over the last two years not to mention the general burden on taxpayers.

ALEMAN pedestrian walkway 20151001_174608~21

John Elizabeth Alemán is a “girl named John” in keeping with the tradition in her family of naming children after her paternal grandfather’s World War II buddy and fellow Army medic.

Mrs. Alemán, who holds a degree in finance, was accompanied by her husband, technology executive Jose Braulio Alemán, a personable gentleman who was obviously very proud of his wife.

He said they met in the information technology business. She eventually retired from Ryder System, where she managed supply chain and transportation software projects, to attend to their children’s upbringing while he advanced his career. She was, however, approached by Mastec and offered a job as its CIO, which was her dream job because she had only been number two in information management at Ryder. She reluctantly agreed to serve as CIO on an interim consultant basis. When pressed to take the job permanently after nine months, she declined inasmuch as she desired to keep her commitment to raising her children.

She is well known in the education community for assisting PTA organizations, winning several county awards including “PTA President of the Year” in 2013. According to her LinkedIn.com page, she currently chairs the Quality Education Committee for the City of Miami Beach.

So education is her strongest suit. Her reputation in that field purportedly won her the endorsement of Commissioners Michael Grieco, a former prosecutor and now a criminal defense lawyer, who was present with his beautiful companion at the function, and Joy Malakoff, a banker, both of whom ardently support education and children’s programs.

Michael Grieco, in fact, has recently formed a nonprofit program entitled Miami Beach Kids First. Mrs. Alemán’s opponent, Mark Samuelian, a businessman and chess master who teaches chess to children and who claims to be much beloved by them, displayed the Miami Beach Kids First logo in a political email blast stating that he supported the program and intended to attend its first fundraiser. Mr. Grieco responded with a blast of his own, charging him with trying to hijack his kids program for political purposes.

Mrs. Alemán also enjoys the endorsement of Mayor Philip Levine, a wealthy developer and propagandist who has become increasingly under fire for his egoistic management style and exaggeration of his accomplishments.

Any specific wrongs done, however, can always be blamed on his city manager except for his association with Commissioner Jonah Wolfson in what appeared to be a shakedown of vendors and developers for hundreds of thousands of dollars in contributions to Mr. Wolfson’s political action committee, Relentless for Progress, the progress advertised being that purportedly advanced by the mayor.

The mayor, in response to the big stink raised by noted political reporter Michael Putney on television, said that the PAC was legal and that he was self-financing his re-election campaign anyway.

He has plenty of money for that, and is said to have purchased the majority on the commission that he now leads as a de factor strong mayor in city with a weak mayor charter, going so far as to say during the last election cycle that whosoever receives the king’s shilling is the king’s man.  A king never has enough money, nonetheless, and one way to have more of it is to use other people’s money instead of one’s own.

Mrs. Alemán insisted that she is not a bought politician. She is independent, she insisted, and is committed to voting her conscience; that is, she will vote for proposals she believes are good for the community, and against the rest.

The reason she said she decided to run for commissioner is that she believes the city is being taken in the right direction. She cited the free trolley along the west side of South Beach, and the success around the new pumps of the stormwater program initiated by the previous regime, except for the road raising aspect, and also the transparency of the current regime in respect to budgeting.

Traffic, of course, is a problem that she will work on, she said. Ironically, increased traffic is created by the overdevelopment that funds political campaigns, and now traffic resolution is a main plank in almost every politician’s platform. Her experience at Ryder would be of advantage to the community in that regard. She mentioned that multi-modal transportation, a system of interlinked vehicles that would take passengers to their destinations, might be part of a good solution.

ALEMAN sunset good 20151001_190218~21

John Elizabeth Alemán rushed off to a debate on North Beach, so voters are urged to examine it for details.

Most of the neighbors who lingered behind with WAVNA president Gayle Durham thought Mrs. Alemán looked good. Win or lose, she is a good person to know. The view of the sunset was spectacular. The Cuban and Japanese snacks were delicious. The red sangria was better i.e. sweeter than the white, or at least that was the consensus.

ALEMAN night scene 20151001_202405~21

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